| The Dragons of Selzar | ||||||||||||||||||||
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| Welcome to The Dragons of Selzar. This place is designed as a Role-play site where you literally live as a dragon. You create your dragon character, join one of the five dragon clans, and then you live it's life as if it was your life, and adapt it to different scenarios that are brought upon you by other users and characters. This place is a lot of fun and that's what everything is all about. Come and Join our clan of Dragons! ~Silvera~ ~Head Admin~ |
| Hopian; The Opal Dragon | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 14 2010, 02:39 PM (219 Views) | |
| King | Mar 14 2010, 02:39 PM Post #1 |
Adult Dragon
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Name: Hopian Age: 22(2,200 in human years) Species: Western European Gender: Male Clan: Juthivar Clan position desired: Regular clan member Desired Magic: Fire Magic[his most powerful type] - Mastered Nature[or Earth, whichever you want to call it] - Mastered Lightning - Very Good Appearance: He's 30 feet tall, 60 feet long, and has wingspan is 120 feet, he takes after both his mother and father on this as they were both almost this size. He is the last Opal dragon on the continent, although their are others on the planet, just not on Selzar, the only other dragons on Selzar being hybrids actually with Opal in their blood, but it doesn’t show like Hopian’s. His coloration is unique in the simple fact he's an Opal, having a rainbow color instead of one or two colors. Even the fire he breathes or snorts out is a rainbow color, but don't let it fool you, it's just as hot as any other dragons. Since he is the last Opal dragon on the Continent, not many know what type of dragon he is and he gets sick of having to tell others what kind he is. He loves using it to his advantage as well, often playing tricks on others but he always tells them the truth after he's had his fun that is. Personality: He is what you could say, the jokester of the group. Calm and calculating, he manages to maintain this nature even when he’s enraged but only barely. He has lost it only once, in which he became truly enraged and uncontrollable... He hasn’t lost it in nearly 7 years, since he was 15, which was when he leaving his parents behind in search of his own clan, and more importantly, a mate. History: Hopian is a male dragon in his prime at 22 years old, in human years, he would be 2,200 years old. His childhood was surprisingly good, even for a dragon. He was an only child, meaning his parents spent every minute with him and teaching him how to fly, and even perfect his magic to a certain degree that is. His childhood was of an average dragon, he had a crush on this one female, but she left before he did as she was a few years older and he hopes to find her and become her mate before another male does first. When he was 10, his father's parents were murdered by a black Wyvern, which his father proceeded to try and kill but he could never track him down. By the time Hopian was 15, both his mother's parents had been murdered, and he almost succeeded in her killing her as well, if she hadn't flew back and told Hopian and his father that the same black Wyvern had done it, which is when Hopian lost it, he was already 20 foot tall, so he and his nearly 30 foot tall father set out and together they tracked down and literally ripped that murderer into shreds, before they said their farewells. His father watched Hopian fly off before he turned around and flew off back to the nest, her mother was expecting it so the two fell asleep, and have died of natural causes since then. Now he lives happily in the Juthivar Clan, and he has his two rainbow colored eyes on no female at the moment, although he's searching the females to find a single one, but he hasn't had much luck so far. Picture: http://i661.photobucket.com/albums/uu333/Kenworthking_2009/Dragon%20Album/Hopian.jpg?t=1268592547(the picture is to big, so click on the link) Edited by King, Jun 8 2010, 08:37 AM.
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| Silvera | Mar 14 2010, 05:06 PM Post #2 |
Dragon of the masters
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This character is a little... over the top and it screams Mary Sue. Sue point 1: He's 30 feet tall, 60 feet long, and has wingspan is 120 feet, being at the biggest he or any other can get. Every character you have made has been the largest you can possibly make it. Try using a bit of Variety in size when you make characters. Sue point 2: He is the last Opal dragon alive, You don't determine what race is extinct here and what is not. Not to mention, being the only one of anything makes everything attract to it. Sue point 3: Since he is the last Opal, he naturally attracts just about any female that gazes upon his beautiful rainbow scales Yeah, I'm sorry but no. That is borderline powerplay. Because it would pretty much *force* any female in a topic that he enters to, "instantly fall for him* Sorry it doesn't work that way. Sue point 4: he manages to maintain this nature even when he’s enraged but only barely, he has lost it sometimes and then he becomes truly enraged, uncontrollable, unstoppable... This so Okay but is very cliche. However nothing becomes unstoppable. Uncontrollable yes, unstoppable no. Basically, make the character less perfect. He can be the only Opal on this continent, but he can not be the only left on the planet. Also, tone down the appearance. The whole "every female falls for me" just screams at me and not in a good way. Fix that and you'll be good. |
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| King | Mar 14 2010, 09:04 PM Post #3 |
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Adult Dragon
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Not true, Spectre was only 23 or 24 foot tall, but I will start using different sizes, I've been thinking about making him for the past month or so, so I had to use it. and as for everything else, it's fixed. |
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| Silvera | Mar 14 2010, 09:21 PM Post #4 |
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Dragon of the masters
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This is a lot better. Thanks. Your character has been accepted. |
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7:53 AM Feb 7
